Me.
Ok, so during my young life i have done Good things, bad things, terrible things, crazy things.
I started out a dork, followed my big sis, jelous of all her friends, sat in the hallways at school looking down with a backpack full of books making me look like the hunchback of notrydame. it all changed when i met my counterpart, Ruben heredia, as soon as we started hanging out, shit flipped, the world subtly shifted. rueben was just as fucking dorky as me, if not worse with his bottle neck glasses. well we rebled, we drank, we broke shit, we shot shit with paintball guns, the pented up insanity of years, unleashed upon anyone in site.
As we calmed down and moved away from that place, just in time for our latest actions almost got us in serious trouble, we settled in good ol Texas. and we rocked it!. first by meeting ladies, not just one or two, but dozens, it was like a newly bought playstation game, and we played the shit out of it.
then came the partys, Supercalifragilisticlyespiadiosious drinking sprees. beer bonging Bacardi 151 and jack daniels with some tomato juice and cooler water (ruben! lol fucking cooler water? "just to fuck it up!" lol)
Then i met her. i fell like a rock, on my knees, in love with her, i changed, the parties got replaced by Sonic Flood concerts, and Aquire the Fire Conferences, Pillar, Mikaw Tawks Band, my daily tunes of "the sickness" by disturbed replaced by "here i am to worship" my CKY wristbands replaced by WWJD. i joined the choir, was part of two youth groups.
then as soon as it came, it was gone, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a feeling of being tricked.
again i rebled, on an Extreme lever, i hurt her deeply, i know it, which is why what happened late happened.
and i tried to change a million times, but i am not strong enogh to want to. im weak, and i know it, but i am insane too, and fun, and crazy, and i love it.
now that life is only reminded to me by crazy parties in my barracks, and pictures from old times, calling up old buddies retelling ourselves the crazy times.
the feeling of Nostalgia is sooo overwhelming, makes me sad , but i knew it was going to end, but even if my job is serious, my life is serious, i ...still...am...INSANE, and thats all that keeps me sane.
is it just me?
Ok so in this part ima list weird ass shit that i do, in an attemp to reasure myself that im not crazy.
1. I always ALWAYS gotta make my sandwhich in a certain order. Mayo on both buns, ham , THEN the cheese. or else i wont eat it.
2. When i walk by a bunch of ppl, i have to instinctively look down, subconciously count something, sing softly to myself, or crack my knucles. (yet when im with friends i will just walk to random people and make friends, WTF?)
3. I picture the worsts things imaginable happening to a certain place as soon as i first visit it, like i visited korea, my first thought was...what is North korea bombed us and we all had to live or try to in Nuclear Fall out. Black Glass come to life.
4. Im Addicted to myspace, like some kinda cult ritual, i check it all the time, at work, at my room, when i take a dump, ALL THE TIME. its sorta wiggin me out.
well now work is piling up on my desk, arrg. i'll finish this later.
-D.H
Cartoons
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of
Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth."
― Alphonse Elric
For a while now, ive watched cartoons, i buy the Dvds and sit there with some type of food and drink and get engrossed into them. its pretty entertaining, but ive noticed that ive stoped watching "Ed, Edd, and Eddy" and am watching stuff like "Cowboy Beebop" and "Full Metal Alchemist" these cartoons seem so deep, its almost weird, like "Trigun" the characters are so disturbed and have almost human like characteristics like sorrow and pain.
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only, truth. But the world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete. Equivalent Exchange doesn't encompass everything that goes on here. But I still choose to believe in its principle: that all things do come at a price. That there's an ebb, and a flow, a cycle. That the pain we went through did have a reward and that anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something of value in return, even if it's not what they expected. I don't think of Equivalent Exchange as a law of the world anymore. I think of it as a promise between my brother and me - a promise that someday, we'll see each other again.
— Alphonse Elric
its pretty cool. but sometimes i just say fuck the drama and sadness and shit, and just kick back and watch me some Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Southpark. :)
A poem.
Taedium Vitae
To stab my youth with desperate knives, to wear This paltry age's gaudy livery, To let each base hand filch my treasury, To mesh my soul within a woman's hair, And be mere Fortune's lackeyed groom, - I swear I love it not! these things are less to me Than the thin foam that frets upon the sea, Less than the thistledown of summer air Which hath no seed: better to stand aloofFar from these slanderous fools who mock my life Knowing me not, better the lowliest roof Fit for the meanest hind to sojourn in, Than to go back to that hoarse cave of strife Where my white soul first kissed the mouth of sin. - Oscar Wilde
MySpace
"i swear, when she left me, the first thing i though was...do i take her off MySpace?" - chooses to remain anonymous.
This myspace shit is attaching itself into peoples lives it seems. It can make or break flimsy relationships. You can meet fine bitches or ugly bitches. Its insane how many people i could stalk if i wanted to because they spill their information into the internet in a gross display of information assurance. MySpace of curse wont be liable if some 14 year old pretends to be 18, and decides to meet a guy she met online, and receives "Life Experiances" first hand.
I guess in a society where everything and anything can be done online, why not socialize online, fuck hanging out with friends, when u can sit on your computer and make lots of "lol's" and "wtf's" and "LMFAO!" <--- lots of emotion in that one...you can tell by the caps.
The Necklace
You wake up in walking closet, bathroom, backyard, foreign bed that would make u go blind if a blacklight flickered on. And you wonder...how did i get here? youve just lived a day in my life. How this relates to the necklace? IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THE NECKLACE!!!
Its 4:30pm your are inside a building you found in an alley, it smells like cheap cologne and ciggarettes , and there are people wearing tweed jackets. You begin to get supercalifragilisespialodaciously drunk, thats the kind of drinking spree that would put a frat house to shame. One minute your there, the next it is 11:30 pm and you wake up back in your bed. Your mind spins as you wonder if you took the blue or red pill. Wether the bunny with the old Timex raped you, and if he did, did he use protection. Youve just lived another day in my life. And in addition to all this, your wearing a necklace that resembles something the bitch off of The Titanic was wearing when that ship was sunk by terrorists.
*sighs*
I wonder what i will wake up with next.
-DecoyBoB
